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Katy Kettles
25 September 2008 @ 05:33 pm
Time flies...too fast somedays. Sometimes, I can't remember the fact that it's actually september since the seasons don't change around here. Makes me forget how little internet worlds like livejournal are doing...or facebook and even Myspace. It all sometime seems like a long time ago when all I had to do was tell the world about my life...but i think I have decided to go into hybernation for a while. Clear my head, get some new perspectives. Come alive you could say.  
 
 
Katy Kettles
28 August 2008 @ 10:01 pm

                People are judged by the strangest things. They are judged by the color of their skin, the way they talk, all the way down to the way they look. Each of us; are very unique, different, vibrant, and radiating with something that can’t be described half of the time. Unfortunately most of the time when were judged, it’s not because we are celebrating everything that is beautiful about them. We are usually discriminating them because of a “supposed” flaw or something that is different from us. Hitler tried to erase people because of something they couldn’t control…and unfortunately we still live with this ignorance today.
                I have never been a size 4 and I could never tell you what it feels like. I have also never stepped into a clothing store and not been looked at funny. I am either looked at because I appear to not fit into their “abercrombie” jeans or I am too small to shop for bras at Lane Bryant. The media puts into our minds what the ideal person should look like; now here’s the thing….the people that look like that do abnormal things that the body shouldn’t do to look like that. The other 90% of the population look at that and always know there is something with them that they wish could be altered. I am a size 14 and I am not ashamed of who I am. I am loud and most of the time I will shock you…and I am okay with that. If you feel uncomfortable around me; well, that is your problem and not mine. I sometimes talk funny and tell awkward stories…well guess what you probably do too. No one should have to put up with the idea that they do not fit a “look”, and unfortunately I ran into this problem once again today.
                I remember when I first walked in… he looked at me strangely. However, I am quite used to it by now so on the first day I just ignored it. I always figure once they start to talk to me everything will be alright. They will find that I am kind, funny and always willing to help out. Unfortunately I was released from a job that I loved this week because I was told by the owner that I didn’t “fit in”. I was nice to people, I did my job and I covered other people’s shifts…when they didn’t show up. This is the first week they have been open and they have many different people walk in to get coffee. I have hung out in coffee shops and loved home-grown places ever since I can remember. I play guitar, write all the time, act, model and paint...I am a creative person. Just because I don’t sit in a dark hole and pretend to only wear the hippest things and talk like a stereotypical “artsy” coffee drinker hipster should…doesn’t mean anything.  For some reason coffee house people have gotten this “look” that you are as thin as a rail, wear neutral colors and are as chill as a vegetable sipping your coffee. I am not thin as a rail and yeah I like neutral colors and bright colors (I’ll be your freaking rainbow buddy) and sometimes I am not that “chill”. I don’t look that stereotype, so get over it. The “people” who are “artsy” and do “creative” things in their spare time and want to make great lattes; do just that. They don’t have to “fit in” to what is supposedly the way they are supposed to look…I don’t want to starve myself for my art…. I want my art to speak for itself…I want my actions and my work ethic to speak for itself…not because I don’t “fit in” to what someone wants me to be.
 Sometimes though all they see is a bigger person that just stands out..and that’s just sad to think there are still those people out there that still say you don’t “fit in” for what I want this shop to be. That is ignorance. Now for the record, I am not obese by a doctor’s standards if anyone wanted to know. I also can shop at ANY store I want. I also do yoga/go on walks and jog every week. I willingly chose to be a catcher for my school’s softball team my senior year because I knew it would be hard and that I would have to work at it. I knew I didn’t “look” the part, but I did it anyway. Don’t judge a book by its flipping cover morons.
 
I wrote this down because I realized how vital it is for someone like me to live in L.A. People are just so stupid with “looks” and appearances and “fitting in”. These people need someone to wake them up to see what kind of people they are influencing across the world and in the media. These images people want are fake…all kinds of people live in this world…all kinds of people are beautiful and we ALL fit in. Whether you are skinny, big, black or white, short or tall…you fit in this world. You can do whatever you want… even if it’s not what that kind of person normally “fits” into. Don’t let anyone tell you differently or tell you that you DON’T belong there, Because you do. End of story.
 
 
Katy Kettles
25 August 2008 @ 10:03 pm

so i decided to split my livejournal. this is going to be for my personal updates and the other one "katykettles" is where i will be posting my poetry/ short stories/ creative shit. http://katykettles.livejournal.com/

so if you read this... add that one to your friends too. 

-Katy

 
 
Katy Kettles
16 August 2008 @ 09:20 pm
Every once in a while I say to myself, “Katy, we need some more magazines that indulge our girly nature and produce inquiring thoughts on the male species,  sex,  make-up, clothes and shoes…think Carrie Bradshaw”.  Because of this, today I picked up the latest issue of Cosmopolitan...since it’s either, “go big or go home” or it’s a cheap imitation that full of worse crap. I was stunned, because I fell in love with every shoe and I am admiring what the world’s elite team of fashion designers are thinking is, “fall’s it items”.
The First One – Bringing Back Purple.
This color needed a new boost, since all it’s ever been for fall is the dark maroons and typical fall colors. My favorite thing I have seen is a short dark purple mini-dress, with dark stockings and short black high heeled boots. It puts a new twist on the typical mod look, by adding color.
                The Second – Floral Print
God, I am so happy floral made its return last spring so it can help me out this fall. Only with darker prints, now THAT is wonderful.
                The Third – Double Handle Bags
It’s been about the “clutch” or the big slouchy “my life is in here bag”. I am loving that there is now an in between that screams, “I am a sophisticated and classy lady” and yet can still hold everything… (and carry it like a tote!!)
 
It was really a delightful afternoon of reading in the park…and my favorite part is when your reading Cosmopolitan in public and the cover says on it, “The Sex Position They Lust For”. The guys automatically think your reading that part so they throw smiles and “ma-mi’s” your way. Can’t a young single woman in L.A have an afternoon to herself for once while indulging in some fashion?
Dating in L.A is kind of the same thing too…you can’t be on a date (or hang out?) without everyone trying to see who your with. I have found they don’t like to call it dating because nothing is ever serious here and everyone is always looking for the newest, hottest, and younger thing.  Guys like to flaunt out who they are taking to dinner, women just like to be treated like a darling princess. This guy I have been seeing for the last week…or weeks is very strange. Not strange as in creeper “strange”, but strange as in how he views this whole “hanging out” concept. He is originally from Central America so his accent is to die for and he speaks English PERFECTLY! He thinks when you like someone you just do what is natural…I am the complete opposite. When you like someone you don’t do stupid thoughtless things to screw up what could be a good relationship. He also thinks that I, “think too much” meaning I need to learn the L.A mentality of not thinking? I very much disagree. He was attracted to me because I had a lot to say that wasn’t necessarily the “norm”. I have been told on my occasions here that I really don’t look like an L.A girl. I take it as a compliment…and I am not going to change for a stereotype of where I am living. I will always fall back to listening to Drake, Dan or any other original Michigan artists over the mainstream and blast them out my genuine 2000 GM Pontiac Bonneville with the Michigan license plate still attached. I might be living in L.A, but it’s just a city...it’s dating rituals and faster/richer  lifestyle can’t change deeply ingrained Michigan roots. That shit is deep…believe me. So for this new boy…I wonder some days, will he really be able to handle all this woman’s free spirit? Because I am not backing down for some suave Latin man that does make me smile…just a little. ; )
 
Wow, this is a long detailed entry…sometimes I enjoy being an open book. You have nothing to hide.
 
 
 
Katy Kettles
06 August 2008 @ 08:59 pm
So I haven't posted in here so much because I have been a facebook whore...sorry about that. 

So I became a model...thats new....like litterally a model...I have 5 shoots booked for the next 4 weeks. These are photographers that contacted me...ushually when you start out you have to pay a photographer...some how I got lucky...they will do it free of charge. 

see.....



that was taken about two days ago with this guy named Daniel....I am kind of like his project right now...we'll see how this all turns out. 


 It's funny, lately I have been wondering why I am so good at this modeling thing....and the only conclusion I came to is that my life wasn't meant for just me...but more for a public display. It explains why I don't care what people think of me...or why I don't feel stupid writing my feeling on the internet. I am not scared of the world knowing me....maybe because it was supposed to be my one love all along. For the past 4 years I was just kidding myself and when I had settled into "normalcy" not doing anything to entertain the world...I got taken out of it. My life wasn't so private anymore....now people are taking my picture and I feel more complete...like I got the medicine I was searching for. I guess I am finally where I am supposed to be...can't turn back now. Not until I some how make something so big that everyone can't stop talking about it....there is no privacy then.

I guess it was God's plan all along....I was meant for the world...and everytime I tried to do something for me....I got taken out of it, and hurt.
 
 
Current Mood: contemplative
 
 
Katy Kettles
03 July 2008 @ 11:04 am

Alright here's the 411 on all things happening in the big city and with me. 

I left Greenpeace....for a number of reasons.
             1. everything was temporary and it was stressful thnking I could lose my job at any moment
             2. I was being fired for something they "overheard" in the gossip train and in my opinion they had no right to take action like they did.
             3. After 4 weeks of talking to people I realized the method of getting members was litterally brainwashing, I was starting to feel like I was cheating people more then getting them to be part of something awesome....it became a numbers game with the quotas to meet and how many people could you stop this week. Everything was about the big numbers not on the individual and how they personally can't attribute to and gain from this organization. We say it is but at the end of the day they become a "15" or that "35" I had that day.
             4. If I could say anything to the Greenpeace leaders it's that they should be learning how to keep their staff...they have the biggest drop rate out of any company I have seen. In my four weeks of being their I counted 20 people they hired and then never saw again and it sickened me because the economy is bad right now. The more people you fire, the more people you have that will hold a grudge against you. Eventually those numbers build up and people talk. Nobody likes to hear that their loved one got fired from Greenpeace because of wrong charges or because they simply couldn't "do this job". It was never the question that I couldn't do this job and it should have never been the question. Sometimes we get the short straw on more than one occaission....it's saying hi to the right person and sometimes even saying hi to 40 people you still don't find that one person who might just give a damn that the Boreal forst in Canada is being torn down every two second by the Kimberly-Clarke corporation or that the polar bears are losing their habitat and themselves. 

Ending Statment on Greenpeace - 
           I don't want to discourage people from supporting their cause, because as most enviromental groups go...they are actually legit. The stuff they do does make an impact and does make change. The causes they support are real. I just hope that for the future they rethink their front lining tactics. Too many times following the set guidelines for my spiel I would feel like it took the heart out of my words, because it was designed to bring in money...to bring in profit to please the politics of it all. I also feel that until they change the turnover rate of people being fired...I can't as a personal choice support their cause. 

(sorry Chalkey I know you were jealous that I was working for them)


- - Moving On from Old News -  - 

 
 
Katy Kettles
19 June 2008 @ 09:55 am
 
1. Name: Katy Kettles

2. Age:  20. unfortunately.

3. Location: hometown: Lansing, MI Now: Los Angeles, CA

4. Occupation: Greenpeace representative
5. Partner: none

6. Kids: not yet and probebly not in the next 7 years

7. Brothers/Sisters: Rich (21)...he;s in Gunnison, CA

8. Pets:none

9. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life:
-Greenpeace
-my non-love life
- Keeping my relationship with God
10. What did you go to school for? I was going for English,...now I am saving the world.....good trade

11. Parents: Don and Kathy Kettles.....they are still alive and kicking and doing yoga

12. Close Friends: wow...ummm everyone....at times I feel like the whole world is my friend......

13. Do you drink/smoke?: Well apparently it's cool to be a smoker at Greenpeace...but I am not...but I do like my beer
14. Tattoos/Piercings: ears and nose...no tattoos...yet
 
 
Katy Kettles
16 June 2008 @ 09:16 am
I guess it's hard to update on my life for people since I left Michigan. It's crazy and hectic about every moment of the day from meeting people randomly on the street because of my job and then the never ending night life. New York may be the city that never sleeps but that doesn't mean it;s the only one.  I wake up at about 8 o'clock every morning....roll into the office and then go to my site. From that point on I belong to the pavement and the world around me. It's kind of cool, my job entails that I speak up for what can not speak and for what must be heard. Everything from Global Warming to Kleenex destroying our ancient trees in the Boreal forest. Then I leave around 6 o'clock and hop on the 2 (bus) and go to the apartment for something to eat. 

Also some guy asked me out while I was working yesterday. I still don't know how I really feel about dating. It's almost as if I don't want to date. The guy seems nice and he works in the best record shop in town so I figured it can't be that bad? Then again I think of where my heart really belongs and if it's really worth the risk of the chance of getting that back. Even though we (he and I) don't speak, God speaks to me everyday. I know I have told everyone I am over him...but really I just excepted that I have to live my life and I know in my heart overtime it'll all play out because God's got it. I can only take this dating thing one day at a time and pray he doesn't get attached. 

It's only a movie....right? 
 
 
Current Location: L.A
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: U2 (it's playing in the coffee shop I am in)
 
 
Katy Kettles
08 June 2008 @ 11:07 am
  1. I am now twenty years old as of May 28th. Kind of weird because there is no real "woo hoo" about it.
  2. I drove 3000 miles in my 2000 Blue Bonnie named Cecelia...never done that before.
  3. I now live in L.A...Echo Park to be exact.
  4. I have the most amazing view
  5. I work for GREENPEACE, the worlds largest independant enviromentalist organization.
  6. and I love it
  7. I live in a city where there is not just ONE thing happening but thousands of things EVERY NIGHT
  8. I got myself a place to live in one week
  9. I managed to get a bed in days
  10. I have a bookshelf
  11. I am still in step one but managing
  12. It's official....I actually love my life
  13. end of story

 

 
 
Current Location: My Apartment in Echo Park
Current Music: Those Dancing Days -Hitten
 
 
Katy Kettles
25 May 2008 @ 10:38 am
L.A  
Well
The road trip was definately interesting. 

We first went from Lansing to Des Moines, Iowa. We passed a Llama farm and then of course Chicago. Once we got to Iowa, We met some pretty cool cats at the Mars cafe in the heart of Drake University.  Some fun times and great vegan nachos we had. 

The next morning we drove from Des Moines to Denver, Colorado. Let me tell you about Nebraska.....hate it. I pretty much thought I was going to die in the middle of the plains. We were stuck in that waste of space for about 5 hours. Then we reached Denver and it was awesome. 

We spent the next two nights in Denver visiting some relatives. For a whole day we dined in the most fabulous vegan/vegetarian restaurants and saw the excitement of the city. They have some great vintage stores if you are ever interested. 

well I will post more later.....I have to go do some stuff
 
 
Katy Kettles
16 May 2008 @ 01:08 am

I leave everything in about 36 hours.

I am leaving my friends, family, school, and my past. I have deep Michigan traits rooted in my soul. I'm so excited and full of the possibilities that this will bring. 

I am packed and ready to go.

 
 
Katy Kettles
10 May 2008 @ 03:17 am








I gave it away
Willingly
Like it was nothing
I treated woman’s one gift
Like it wasn’t a special something
My body
In scripture
Is a temple
Strong, beautiful and of love
Perfectly capable
And I was able
With no wedding band
On my hand
I still laid there
Naked
Even though
It didn’t feel right
Even though
It wasn’t the night
Even though
He wasn’t the boy
Even though I knew
Myself I destroyed
No fire in his eyes
He wasn’t the object
Of my desire
He didn’t even think
To stop and speak
Before we acted
When we were so weak
But it happened
Can’t change that fact
But luckily for me
Virginal body
Also is
A virginal heart
Body is merely flesh
A place for our souls
To rest
And when someday
I can’t go on
God will know
In my heart I always was
Purely his
For he was always my Savoir
No selfish man
Can’t that away
Child of God
That name’s here to stay
 
 
Katy Kettles
07 May 2008 @ 11:18 pm
Letter after letter
I hear your replies
How you apologize
Vocalize your side
And compromise
With your conflicted mind
 
Week after week
I send back my responses
My tears of remorse
My cries of regret
Explaining my hearts debt
Of a love I wish to forget
 
Month after month
I recite the night
Playing back in my head
What words were said to ignite
Your fist to my cheek
Realizing your communication techniques
Time after time
I learn to forgive
Slanderous words from your lips
Your morality slips
Of it all I let go
Because only God knows
 
Minute after minute
I try again
Not to give in
But not one minute passes by
Where I notice I miss you
And question the reasons why
 
 
Katy Kettles
30 April 2008 @ 01:29 am
This morning I checked my Facebook, like any other day and I had 29 notifications. I have never really had some kind of problem with creepsters on the net before, but after I put up the picture with my fingernails painted blue I suddenly had some. There is this application called "friends for sale" where you can buy and sell your friends. I thought it was cute at first when some old friends of mine bought me and I bought some of my friends. Then this morning I realized that ANYBODY could buy you. Those 29 application were all notifying me of the people who had bought me raising my price to $73, 000 (fake facebook dollers of course). They were people from all over the globe!!!! The guy who owns me now is some creep from Saudi Arabia. Who does that!?!?! Who goes off and randomly picks girls......who arn't even showing off their boobs! 

The picture is the one in my userpic. Please someone tell me...do I look slutty in this picture? I thought it was artistic...and the guy gave me the nickname, "Blue Nails Collection".....Does that have some secret meaning that I don't know about! 

I know it's just an idiotic Facebook thing, but it bothers me when something cute from my friends, turns into something dirty with guys some how objectifying my body....even if it wasn't shown. It's not that I am not used to men looking, but there is a big difference between seeing the person in person then online...it's just a creepy thing to wake up to.
 
 
Current Mood: confused
 
 
Katy Kettles
28 April 2008 @ 01:07 pm
Today I woke up to a bowl of California Cuties in the kitchen and the one that I picked up had a sticker that said,

"Hello Cutie".

it's going to be a good day.
 
 
Current Mood: bouncy
 
 
Katy Kettles
26 April 2008 @ 01:16 am
Today I missed him.

I was talking my old teacher from high school and talking about all the good changes that are going to take place. In the back of my mind though I wished it were him, just sitting there and smiling back at me as I talked. I sent a letter that told him not to contact me. That letter was the hardest thing I had ever had to write.  My soul, my heart and my faith was helping me stay strong and not break apart in my words. I wonder if I made the right choice, I wonder if he just threw that letter away...like the piece of paper it was. I wonder if he read it and cryed. I wonder if he's torn. I wonder if he was relieved. I wonder all of these things. 

One of my favorite memories was a year ago when I met his friend Paul for the first time. We went to some seminar that was an hour away. we were all laughing and having such a great time. Then at the end of the night we were just talking while he had his hands on my waist. He played with my glasses....he used to love to do that, I think it was because I always squinted whenever he snatched them with his mouth and would try to run off with them. Unfortunately I am blind as a bat without them so I never got too far. 

Ever since I wrote the letter I haven't been able to sleep. I just lay their praying for him and mostly for me. L.A is going to bring so many wonderful new opportunities. New people to meet and adventures to wake up to. Then again everywhere in the back of my mind I am going to be that one human being in the world that keeps him close to their heart...even though he did nothing to deserve it. I decided and felt called that it was time to let God heal him, but that doesn't mean my silence is truly silence. I don't talk to him, e-mail him, or text him, or do anything in direct contact, but I do talk to God about him. I realized that this was a different form of love, much deeper than any physical connection could ever bring a person to. 

The message - John 4: 17-18
17-18
God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we're free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ's. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.

This passage gave me a new light on the how I am dealing with this whole situation. Sometimes I fear the person that is in his past. This fear however should not ever be a fear. We all have pasts, we all have made mistakes and we all have our flaws and inperfections, but God loves and we love anyways. If I let the my worries on what's going on get to me, I am not loving. To truly love is to not worry, so I talk to God. When I give my worries about him to God, he not only relieves me but loves me, allowing myself to still love and not be trapped with worry. I feel like this is the deepest form of love. I don't talk with him, as people we are silent, but in God we are heard. 


Some days it's hard, and I miss him. Some days I worry, but soon enough the tide will wash away. I still love, everyday. I still pray, with all my heart and I remain strong, because God gives me no other choices. He's ruthless like that.

 
 
Current Location: my bedroom
Current Mood: grateful
Current Music: Bob Dylan
 
 
Katy Kettles
23 April 2008 @ 01:19 am
time  
 I move to L.A in less than 24 days....

and I am still completely stoked about it.
 
 
Katy Kettles

I have had 8 official boyfriends,

14 different men(I tried to remember the exact number) whom I have had sexual curiosities with,

and countless admirers. 


where do I go from here.......



 
 
Katy Kettles
15 April 2008 @ 10:41 pm
God made me this way
So what do you have to say?
About my womanly physique,
Or the way I speak?
 
He made me this way
To think out loud,
To be around,
To be of myself proud,
 
He made me this way,
Brown hair with blue eyes,
A bigger size,
Now who would say God wasn’t wise?
 
He made me this way
To care to much
To love too fast
To cherish each moment as if it were my last
 
He made me this way
To make you think
To forget your worries
As we walk amongst the trees
 
He made me this way
To be different
To stand from the crowd
To him always be found
 
He made me this way
To be emotional
To look real deep
To find what makes each person unique
 
He made me this way
To be a beautiful woman
Not to be beaten down
By any common man
 
He made me this way
To make bold choices
To search for adventure
And from him never to be lost
 
He made me this way
To be his vibrant child
To walk the earth
Showing off my smile
 
He never made me to be
Locked up for no one to see
He never made me to be
Anyone else’s but his I mean
He never meant for me to be
Forgotten in a dark cruel world
He never meant for me to be
Stationary…in one town to be seen.
 
 
Katy Kettles
09 April 2008 @ 01:06 am

Sometimes it takes very little to entertain me for example.....

Moment #1
         I walked into JCPenny to get something and I saw a shirt that read, " I thought being Eco-Friendly meant talking to my plants". What was even better was a lady actually bought it ten minutes later. 

Moment #2

        Driving in car back to home and on the Walgreens sign it reads, "zero calorie water sold here 3/ $3" ......isn't all water "zero calorie" if it isn't a sports drink?

 
 
 
 

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